Pardon me, but you's drunk-up sir

Conversation between me and a regular patient of mine last night, he was brought in because he walked to the the fire station and demanded a ride to the ER because he thought he had the flu.  He is always intoxicated and attempts to flirt with anything he senses might be female:

Me: "Hi sir.  Do you remember me?  I was your nurse the last time you were in here.  You told me I looked like Halle Berry"
Patient: "I must'a been drunk."
Me: "You were. Very much so."
Patient: (staring at me intently for a few minutes) "Actually, yo face do look a little like Halle Berry...but yo body don't."
Me: "I am aware I do not have the same figure as Halle Berry, sir"
Patient: "That ok.  You ain't that bad.  I guess you got a little junk in yo trunk."
Me: "Sir, please refrain from talking about the junk in my trunk."
Patient: "Why?  How old you is?"
Me: "Sixteen"
Patient: "Oh. Hmmmmm...." (scratching head)

...And people wonder why I prefer not to interact with others on my days off...nights full of conversations like this one decrease my IQ.  Talking to people like this for 2 years and I am not surprised that when I get new patients and am tired, I have to stop myself from blurting out "Where you be hurtin'?".