Last Saturday Night

Last night was too much fun.  The outfits were hilarious, the food and drink delicious and the company good.  I had no idea that my hair had the capacity and volume when teased to warrant its own zip code, but am glad I now know.  It's learning stuff about yourself like that that keeps life interesting, right?  Here is a picture of some of us...viva el neon!!

80's Adios

Tonight is my 80's Adios party - I am a little excited!!!  We cleaned and prepared this morning and now are getting ready.  I have never seen so much neon in my life.  I am truly lucky to have made so many friends in this town, I will miss most of them!!

Inefficiency

For liking as much good, homemade food as I do, I enjoy the junky artificial stuff quite a bit as well.  Grands biscuits, Cheetos (not the puffy kind, preferably), cotton candy, Fruit by the Foot...yum.  I just made an emergency trip to the grocery store to get me some tie dye fruit roll-ups and some Welch's fruit snacks.  I now have access to seasons three and four of The Tudors, (if only King Henry VIII had actually looked like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) am showered and worn out, and am pretty excited to lay in bed and watch my show and eat fruit snacks for the next 45 minutes or so until I fall asleep.

Why am I worn out you ask?  Well let me tell you. Today I went paddle boarding.  You know, where you stand on a surf-board looking board and balance and row around with a long paddle.  It is the second most inefficient mode of transportation I have ever experienced, second only to crab walking backwards.  I have always seen movie stars doing it and though it would be fun so when a friend asked if I would like to go I jumped at the opportunity.  Now after experiencing an hour and a half of paddle boarding when the sun was at its apex in the humid South while going against the current on the way out and against the tide on the way back...I know it is solely an activity people do for exercise or as means of punishment.  It is a whole-body workout, from balancing the entire time (heaven forbid a boat wake come along, you pretty much have to get on all fours as quickly as you can without falling off and hold on to the board for dear life) to using your abs and arms and shoulders and back to paddle.  I felt like the kayakers going by us were flying, and the boats going by us might as well have been moving at the speed of sound.  Despite all this it was a fun experience, I am glad I tried it; anything to be out on the water these last few weeks before I head West!   Afterwards we made up for our exercise with (this was just what I had): 1 powerade, 1 bottled water, 1 glass of ice water, 2 Arnold Palmers, an entire order of shrimp artichoke dip, a cup of tortilla soup and a sesame salad.  And 1 sushi wonton. 

Here is a picture of two paddle boarders if you just cannot fathom it, not me however:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9yGsCy18R05-Kd7atLMXqVU1F1zhpuWtoVvQnK_Z3qgFJe904PS2m2gIfEiLyp57L7VjHU7dTxuBCwSiMquMeAuJYHmBGJ_WXR-3W8fi5Y83pLrAPE9KPmD-OrQlrpWToWzCRFxmwlSE/s1600/paddleboard1.jpg

A truth

The older I get the more I realize that some women really do look better without makeup.  I am also realizing that I am not one of them.

Booo yah

I'm obsessed...even if it is a little ghetto fabulous...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJnF5sPqBeM&feature=relmfu

Also, I had an epiphany a little bit ago.  This weekend I am having my 80's Workout Themed going-away party, my friend and I bough neon spandex, sweat bands, leg warmers and thong leotards the other day in preparation.  It is going to be epic.  Anywho, back to my epiphany, (it has to do with theme parties), I just thought of the best theme party idea ever.  Well, maybe not ever ever, but still.  Ready for it?.....PETER PAN!!!!  You could dress up like an Indian, fairy, child, in a nightgown, a pirate, mermaid, crocodile...the possibilities are endless!  I called my mom to discuss my epiphany and told her she would have to dress as Tiger Lily (I vetoed her suggestion she come as Nana) and dad could be Mr. Smee, we would find him a nautical red and white striped shirt and a little knit cap.  I know they are SO excited....: )  I think I will curl my hair and wear a nightgown and come as Wendy.  Too excited!!!

New Favs

Most Current-est Favorites

My white knitted button-up, short-sleeved sweater with a hood from Banana Republic
My Sperry boat shoes
Victoria's Secret Ravishing Love scented body lotion
Orange sherbert colored fingernails
Cat Stevens
Mythology by Edith Hamilton
80's workout gear
My new black pencil skirt with the gold buttons from Express
Barn owls as pets
lace shorts
The smell of eucalyptus
Betsey Johnson jewelry

My brain must be at max capacity

Ug.  I don't know how I keep forgetting to do this.  My brain is at max capacity I do believe.  On top of quitting my job and working my last few days last week, finding/applying for a new job, interviewing for the new job, (getting the job...yay! : ) hiring a moving company, finding a storage company, finding a new apartment, planning a bachelorette party, trying to help with Banana's wedding, (all of these happening 2,000+ miles away from my current locale),  planning a road trip home with hotels and excursions, helping arrange flights for a friend that is coming to drive home with me, thinking about packing, planning a themed going-away party for this weekend, trying to see friends before I leave AND being subpoenaed to a court case this week, my brain is in all different directions.  It is amazing that I leave the apartment fully clothed.  Long story short, please forgive that this entry was initiated 16 minutes past its due date.

Tonight I did one of my favorite things, turned my music up and baked.  I felt like baking good ol' chocolate chip cookies so that is what I did.  Now what to do with them....

I bought some high-waisted lace shorts/hotpants the other day, they are so cute but I am still deciding what to wear on top with them...

Tried to marble-ize my nail polish today, some friends came over and no matter how much of our right-side brains we used it just wouldn't work like it did in the tutorial on youtube.  I got a few good results out of it, but they were few and far between.  Maybe I will post a picture of my handiwork.  Ok, off to bed for me. 

Sweet dreams!

Potter? Harry Potter?

I went and saw the new and final Harry Potter today.  It was very good, I cried big fat crocodile tears that made it all the way to my belly button before they stopped.  Seriously.  I didn't want to miss a second of that movie, I would have peed in my romper instead getting up and missing something.  Then I got groceries and dinner and came home and made Aunt H's phenomenal marinara sauce and my new favorite green beans with goat cheese, tomatoes and toasted almonds.  I am so domestic.  My domesticity will also extend to tomorrow, because I need to do a katrillion loads of laundry it feels like.  I have discovered the new series Camelot on Netflix, I think it is by the same people that did The Tudors so it is very good.  Listening to King Arthur all those nights on tape as a child really paid off...I know my knights and Uther Pendragon's children's names...even what they do and who King Lot was.  Huge nerd but kind of impressed how much I retained.  It is interesting to see this take on the King Arthur saga, how they portrayed Arthur and Guinevere and the sword in the stone and Merlin and the whole bit...am totally enthralled by it. 

You know what else I am enthralled by?  Dylan Lauren's (Ralph's Daughter) wedding dress and hair.  There was an article on it in the August Vogue.  Beautiful.  Did you know Lauren Bush is marrying one of Ralph Lauren's sons?  Never a big fan of the Bush twins....

lace and tulle and satin and silk and ruffles

Had a magical day yesterday with some good friends, we all went wedding dress shopping for my dear friend Geode (not her real name).  It started out with them banging on my door at 9am with donuts and coffee and me ignoring the door then finally answering it in my pj's with bedhead, and we headed to Savannah to do some wedding dress/bridesmaid dress shopping.  The shopping started out rough, Geode fell hard for an Oscar de la Renta in the $10,000 price range I affectionately nicknamed "Sea Creature", but she made a swift recovery and fell in love with another exquisite lace dress that she looked perfect in.  Her wedding is next August.  I love how on top of things she is! 

Holy moon pie

Tonight was my last night of work, bittersweet fo sho.  Also, since I am now in-between jobs, maybe I will remember to post every day, like I should be doing anyways....so, I am going to write down some of my favorite work memories of the last few years to remember it by.

Being SCARED to DEATH but REALLY EXCITED for the first 8 months of work
Thinking "wenchebach" (pronounced Winky-bok) was one of the Teletubbies, not a cardiac rhythm
Cutting dozens of snowflakes out of coffee filters and hanging them all over for Christmas
Riding the Stedy out the ambulance bay doors
Riding the thermometer carrier
Riding the wheelchairs
Going into a hard-of-hearing patient's room and yelling Italian words at him with the hospitalist because the tech thought it would be funny to tell us he wasn't answering our questions because he only spoke Italian
Watching dolphins from the cafeteria
Asking the guard what a "birfing" center was
Breakfast for dinner on Wednesday nights!
Seeing the Spanish moss on the Oak trees in the moonlight
Having graham crackers and ginger ale become a part of  my daily (nightly) diet
Food challenges!! (6 saltine challenge, Warheads, tsp. of cinnamon)
Ordering pizza or Chinese or Subs
All the precious babies
Stealing my EMS friend's walkie talkie and hiding in the linen closet while whispering "Can you hear meeeeeee?" over and over to have his partner tell me that it was actually transmitted over the entire county and they had to take the walkie talkie back and call dispatch and tell them to "disregard previous transmission"
Being the guinea pig for my co-worker's no-arm punch and collapsing against a wall
Calling the ER for directions when I got lost in Georgia
Calling the ER for directions on how long to boil an egg to make it hard-boiled at sea level
The funny triage complaints
Getting presents in the tube system from friends in ICU and the floor
White board artwork
Rollerskating down the hall.  Once.
Holiday pot-lucks!
Having a continual rating system of looks of all the male law-enforcement that came in, they would walk in the ambulance bay doors and all the women working would stop and yell out numbers 0-10
South Park-ifying co-workers online
Doing virtual makeovers of co-workers online
A co-worker's space heater impression
Doing impressions for co-workers of all the PA's and doctors, complete with props and costumes
Attempting to run ginger ale through IV tubing
Cleaning the nurse's station which calms my nerves
Annual raft races
My first low-country boil
Working all night then driving to the airport and ordering a whiskey at 9am
Saline flush wars
Back massages/adjustments
Trying to teach a fellow nurse how to shotgun a ginger ale
Arm circles and walking the stairs for exercise
Laughing so hard your stomach hurts
Lemon air spray!!
Trying out different energy powders and drinks with co-workers
Birthday parties!
Saving room 6 for important sporting events on television
Diet Cokeheads
Keeping a list of the most ridiculous patient names
"Just google it"
Making a bonnet out of a diaper pad and singing "Matchmaker" for my preceptor
3 nurses fitting into one XXL patient gown
Wrapping blankets from the warmer around yourself on cold nights
Having breakfast with co-workers after the shift
Witnessing one of the more "spiritual" doctor's chanting prayer groups in the hallway
Having the terms "baby mama" and "baby daddy" be legitimate roles on the family tree
Little kids with beads in their hair
My male preceptor akwardly offering me a high-five the first time a patient made me cry
Seeing love
The cute doctor from the Cro-Fab videos
Using the ultrasound maching to look at pregnant co-workers' babies
Hiding under the desk and in the break room from extreme patients
Performing mini-procedures on co-workers
Playing the "Guess the ailment" game from the security tapes
Playing "Guess the blood alcohol level" game on patients
Peopleofwalmart.com on slow nights
My visit/tour of the morgue on my birthday
"Mother bear!" "Jiminy Christmas!" "Holy guacamole!"
Perfecting my paper airplane model
Rock Paper Scissor championship
Counting all your blessings when you leave work in the morning
Chips and Lorna Doones from the doctor's lounge
The awesome Keurig machine
Gunshot victims that tell us they got shot on their way to/from church/choir practice
Thug babies
Fathers involved in their children's care
The world's most high-powered microwave in the world's smallest breakroom
The fact that if someone ran naked down the hallway none of the staff would bat an eye


I am sure there are more but that is all that I can think of at 3am.

Rough night, good beans.

Auuuughghg, I left for work last night hoping I would have 2 seconds to do a blog but things have a way of turning out differently than you hope sometimes.  It was a rough night.

On the bright side, I found a terrific recipe inspired by one of my mom's, and I made it and am in love.  I am taking some to work tonight to get the opinion of my co-worker's, but am sure it is golden.  Here it is, and I substituted white wine vinegar for the sherry vinegar.

Green Beans with Goat Cheese, Tomatoes, and Almonds

• YIELD: Makes 6 to 8 servings
• PREP TIME:21 MINUTES
• OTHER:6 MINUTES
• COURSE: Side Dishes/Vegetables

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup sliced almonds
• 2 pounds haricots verts (tiny green beans), trimmed
• 3 tablespoons sherry vinegar*
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
• 2 shallots, thinly sliced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 (4-oz.) goat cheese log, crumbled

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Bake almonds in a single layer in a shallow pan 6 to 8 minutes or until lightly toasted and fragrant, stirring halfway through.
2. Cook green beans in boiling salted water to cover 6 to 8 minutes or until crisp-tender; drain. Plunge beans into ice water to stop the cooking process; drain.
3. Whisk together vinegar and next 3 ingredients in a large bowl; add olive oil in a slow, steady stream, whisking constantly until blended and smooth. Add cherry tomatoes, shallots, garlic, and green beans; toss to coat.
4. Top green bean mixture with crumbled goat cheese and toasted almonds.
*White wine vinegar may be substituted.
Southern Living JUNE 2010

Heavenly!!!!

this is why, this is why, this is why...

Why is leotard pronounced that way but leopard pronounced that way?  I am going to start saying them the same way.  Boy I have some deep thoughts.  I am bummed out by the outcome of the women's soccer world championship, and am contemplating Harry Potter the final movie in 3D for a pick-me-up.  I love wearing those 3D glasses over my regular glasses.  Ha.  That is like the definition of cool.  Nothing like 6 eyes to increase attractiveness. 

I went out last night with friends and had a fabulous time.  How do I know this?  I texted everyone in T9 Palabra all night and in order to use my credit card at one of the bars, there was a $20 minimum, so I bought a beer and with the rest of it bought jello shots and made my co-worker carry them around in his cargo pocket until they melted.  There were roughly 16 of them.  My favorite part of the night was the fact that I got to wear my cowboy boots, however.  I do not wear those nearly enough.  They are kind of foreign out here, and everyone sees them and goes "Ooh, I want to wear cowboy boots!" like it is some part of a costume or something, and then I make them swear that they can wear cowboy boots ONLY if they agree to NEVER tuck their jeans into the boots.  They all readily agree, seeing as how I am from THE Cowboy state, I am an authority on those type of things.  No big deal.  Saving lives and giving fashion advice.  That is how I roll.

blind mole rat

Last night, when washing my eye makeup off, the tube mascara came off in tubes, which look a lot like actual eyelashes.  I thought something had gone wrong and all my eyelashes were gone.  I had heart palpitations for a minute, thinking I was now going to look even more like a blind mole rat than I do already without eye makeup, but after feeling my eyes I realized my lashes were still there and upon closer inspection after I got out of the shower my eyelashes were indeed, intact.  Phew.

Last night my grumpy pants ended up being on me, good thing I was home alone.  I knew I was in a bad mood when one of my favorite movies, Mama Mia! was just "too damn cheerful" to watch and I wanted to turn on The Orphanage instead.  My-oh-my whoever marries me is going to be a gem to put up with my moods!

Quality or quantity?

You would think after almost 2 years of living close to an air station, I would be used to the sound of planes flying overhead.  I am not.  Every time one flies over low and I am in my car I freak out because I am sure my car is making some kind of strange death rattle and going to explode.  Then I eventually realize, "oh, it is an airplane stupid".  Gets my adrenaline going every time.

A friend and I tried out a new mascara today, it is supposed to create "tubes" around each lash instead of just painting them.  They don't come off with crying or rubbing of the eyes, so it is a great product for babies.  Ha ha just kidding about the babies, I just made that up.  Anywho, after time it is supposed to make your eyelashes longer and fuller.  It was $24 a tube, so I didn't buy any, but I am going to try and talk my friend, who did buy the product, into using it only on one side for a few months to see if there is any kind of difference.  If there is, I will consider buying some.  Here is the link to the product website: here. I am looking for a good mascara, Maybelline Great Lash mascara always gets really good reviews in magazine top lists, (pink bottle, green lid) but as far as I am concerned it works like poo.  Within a few hours it is smeared all around my eyes, even without rubbing.  Lame.  Now I am using some Sephora brand samples and really like them...it is amazing how spending a little extra on a GOOD product is actually worth it.

Delish

I was laying in bed almost asleep and I remembered I needed to do my blog.  I have 4 minutes to spare.  I think if this rain continues I will be a baking fool this weekend.  Cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies...I have a recipe for orange buttercream frosting that is to die for...hmmmm the possibilities are endless!

Good vs. Evil

There is a scientific explanation for evil, but is there an explanation for goodness?  I believe evil is learned and is the result more of nurture versus nature.  However, is goodness the same way?  How is goodness learned?  How do you teach it?  You can dissect evil - pain, suffering, loss, but can you dissect goodness?  What are its components?  Goodness is more ethereal, maybe that is why it is harder for people to grasp.  There are any number of things you can do to cause a person pain, but it is far more difficult and personal which things are going to make someone feel good.  I think every human is capable of goodness, but why do some people seem to have a better grasp on it than others?  Can you teach someone to be "good"?  Are those morals?  Are they innate?  I used to think everyone was born good, but would turn out based on what they learned growing up.  I think that is what I still want to believe.  Try to define goodness, it's harder than it sounds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR8FknWqIeY&feature=related

I am in love with this song.  Hans Zimmer is a genius.

I am drawing a blank...

This morning around 1am when I came home from work and sat down to write my blog, I realized I really didn't have anything to talk about. "After you sleep and get up this afternoon I'm sure you will think of something to write" I told myself.  Riiiiiiiight.  I am now awake and have been staring at the screen for 15 minutes and still...nothing.  Nothing remarkable at work last night, just the usual chaos and over-crowding.  I think I am going to go make some strawberry lemonade. 

Dear Mom

Mom - I keep forgetting to tell you but could you please start making some baby leg warmers?  I know you have been making booties and caps and sweaters, and I would like you to add another thing to your knitting reptoire.  I am in love with these things and think they are the cutest things ever.  You can make some and keep them in the tupperware container you have of stuff you have already made.  Someday, one of your children will reproduce, but I can't make any promises as to when.  Seeing as how Banana is the only one in any kind of stable, long-term potential relationship, I would start bothering her first.  I will post a link to some patterns you can print out and some pictures.  That is all.  Thank you. 

Pattern websites:  http://www.lovelindsaypai.com/?p=70
                           http://www.squidoo.com/legwarmerknittingpatterns

I am sure you can find some books with patterns too.  Finally, to make sure I have motivated you completely, here are some pictures OF babies IN legwarmers:

                                                      http://flowerpotdesgins.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/legwarmies_pink-brown1.gif

http://readknittingpatterns.com/rkp/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/BabyLegWarmersPhoto.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3yC3YY9a8rvb5K-p-DbIzf7VuIEiG70v1Ut8lVmjAVWSM6lJpmCFKkcgPqzzqImhg1nNEZ-JHrEQAUqza9LtVbd0fmfHA7CuwAip5RBBKbo7DojTsb1yHHqlhuo40PDo0CcOS0uMAnz0x/s1600/aBrynlee6Mth+%2528113%2529eLovely.jpg

Ok, are you convinced yet??  Here is one more, possibly the cutest...

                                                 http://cache1.bigcartel.com/product_images/32823210/nb_pink_1.jpg

I would bet money on this one...

The Beckham's baby girl is going to be the cutest-dressed little thing ever to exist I imagine, maybe even beating out J. Lo and Marc Anthony's kids in that Gucci ad...I have been quite impressed with Princess Kate's wardrobe as well - - love the red hat in Canada.  Also, Emma Watson on the cover of Vogue...since when did the British become known for fashion??  Here is one of the Gucci ads...beautiful.

summer summer summer...clothes

I love me some summer clothes.  Rompers, sundresses, sparkles, heels and wedges, floppy hats, swim suits, over-sized tops, flowy skirts, linen, cashmere, party dresses...big fan, big fan.  Today I went shopping and got a little over-excited at the Saks shoe department, I felt like Carrie Bradshaw fo real trying on Jimmy Choos and Fendis, Manolos and Christian Louboutins...if only I had her income.  I found some fabulous heels to go with my maid of honor dress, Banana, I will email you a picture.  Originally I mis-typed that and put maid fo honor.  I kind of like that better.  Makes me sound like I have substance.  Maybe I should have them put that on their website....anyways, I also got the world's cutest baby girl outfit at Ralph Lauren Baby...don't worry, I actually do know someone having a baby girl.  Overall it was successful.  How could it not be with Abercrombie shirt dresses for $12?!?!

PS - I think I found my dream wedding shoes...Valentino...duh.

Oh la la...

I haven't gotten out of bed today except to use the bathroom and eat some pineapple.  I love lazy days.  I even did my job interview from my bed.  I love modern technology that makes this possible.  And my bed buddy/foot warmer.  And Harry Potter.  And my 1000 thread count sheets.  And my blackout curtains.

white rabbit late

I am 38 minutes late starting this entry...working from 7p-1a is really throwing off my blog log hours.  Tonight a patient said to me, "Wow, you are really hardcore.  Are you military?". It would have been more appropriate if I had saved a life or cracked a chest or something, all I was doing was giving a tetanus shot, but whatever.  I took it as a compliment. 

Did you know Pocohontas was 11 when she met John Smith?

My new interest is the Algonquin Round Table - introduced to me by a friend at work.  Google that shiz.  I want to belong to a group like that.  Maybe I will start my own round table, more Algonquin than King Arthur, or maybe a hybrid of witty knights....

Also, Goethe, introduced to me by another friend, specifically Sturm und Drang.  Do you think J.K. Rowling was making a play on words or was it a nod to Germanic history when she named one of the rival wizarding schools Durmstrang?  Or just a fluke? 

Finally, St. Thomas Aquinas and Thomism - - interesting dude and ideas...worth looking at.  I love those guys that try to mix science and religion.

Ok, last, I swear, I am re-reading Brave New World.  I had started it again but my interest was waning, after talking to a friend about it (and reading the preface after his urging) I am understanding more.  Why do schools make kids read stuff like that, George Orwell, etc. in high school?  It is hard enough to understand in your mid-20's, let alone when you are 16 and know nothing about commerce, economics, goverrnment, religion or politics.

Summer Favorites

My New Favorite Summer Product Essentials

Ole Henriksen Fresh Lips SPF 15
Nivea for Men Cool Body and Hair Wash
Nicole by OPI nail color in Hint of Mint
Sephora Atomic Volume mascara
Victoria's Secret Pink Shimmer Spray
Skintimate Strawberry Tangerine shave gel
ABBA Herbal Rx Banana and Green Tea Deep Conditioner
Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit foaming face wash
DDF Mattifying Oil Control UV Moisturizer  - - THE BEST

Gold Nuggets in the Neverending Abyss of Triage

Wife of Patient: "My husband has dimensions"

Triage complaint slips:
                  "right angle"
                  "I am thinking"
                  "car wreak"
                  "I am going to die"
                  "I don't think they priced my bellybutton right"

Me: "Could you describe how you feel?"
Patient: "Sit with your eyes crossed for 2 days.  That's how I feel."

Me: "What brings you into the ER tonight?"
Patient: "I have a headache.  My hip hurts. I have been losing weight. I am not having the same amount of poop come out of me as the food I am putting into me. I have sleep apnea.  I am adopted.  My hands are tingly.  I have a bump right here.  I had diarrhea last week."
Me: "Pick ONE."
                  
65 year-old Patient: "I get really anxious and excited and I feel like I have to run into a wall"
Me: "How long have you been feeling like this?"
Patient: "Since I was born."

Patient: "My back hurts"
Me: "How long has it been hurting you?"
Patient: "Years"

Doctor to 97 year-old patient who possibly had a stroke: "What day is it?'
Patient: "Sunday..........gotcha!  It's Tuesday!"  (it was Tuesday)

Nurse: "Why don't you get in the bed so we can take your blood pressure?"
Elderly Patient: "Why don't you take my picture?"
Nurse: "Um...?"

Patient: "My throat is hurting, so I have been sucking on a lemon with a cherry in the center of it"
Me: "Um, is that supposed to help anything?"
Patuent: "I don't know"

Mother of patient: "You can have this baby if you want her, I got six more at home."

Patient: "I had a bad dream last night."
Me: "Is that why you came to the ER?"
Patient: "No."
Me: "Okaaaay..."

Nurse in back calls me on phone: "When you triaged this lady, did you get a blood glucose?"
Me: "No, she didn't tell me she was a diabetic.  Why?"
Nurse: "She told the doctor you took it and it was 180"
Me: "That was her weight."

Me: "It says here your pulse is 250"
Patient: "Is that abnormal?"

Overheard two mothers talking: "My 9 year-old is 133 pounds."
Other mother: "Well my 9 year-old is 150 pounds."

Patient: "I have a bump on my breast.  It has been there for ages."
Me: "Is it your nipple?"
Patient: "I don't think so...."
(my sense of humor is completely lost on 99% of the people I see)

Actualization is bittersweet...

Today I worked the 10a-10p shift...I am tired.  However, two of my dreams were actualized; 1 - I triaged a patient and got to chart that they arrived via boat, and 2 - The recently departed Bachelor that I had a crush on (remember I posted his picture) added me as a friend on facebook.  Ok, ok, so he accepted my friend request.  I am going to wallow in the glory for 24 hours or so, then un-friend him.  I am already tired of the constant facebook updates in my news feed that read "Blake J. has accepted 7658903 friend requests", then, "Blake J. has accepted 7658904 requests", then "Blake J. has accepted 7658905 requests" and a few minutes later "Blake J. is friends with everyone in the universe".  It gets old really fast, especially when the majority of girls he is adding look like Playboy's Miss July.  Glad I am going to end this thing on my terms.  Ha ha ha ha. 

The best? The best. The Birds.

Thank you grandma for the Blue Belles recipe...I made 2 loaves of it...amazing!  I can't wait to share it with friends tomorrow.  I am so glad you told me about the recipe so I could figure out what to do with the rest of my blueberries!  It tastes pretty much like heaven and the lemon glaze is the real kicker at the end...here is the recipe, thanks Martha Stewart...click here for the website....

Blue Belles
Ingredients

• 1 stick unsalted butter, plus more for pans
• 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pans
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest, plus 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (from 4 lemons)
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• Salt
• 2 large eggs
• 6 ounces blueberries (1 1/4 cups)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter nine 2 1/2-by-4-inch baking pans, and dust with flour, tapping out excess.
2. Combine 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup lemon juice in a small saucepan over medium heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until sugar dissolves and syrup is thickened, about 4 minutes. Let stand while making cakes.
3. Meanwhile, combine heavy cream, remaining 2 tablespoons lemon juice, and the vanilla in a bowl. Whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and 1/4 teaspoon salt in another bowl.
4. Beat butter, lemon zest, and remaining cup sugar with a mixer on medium speed until pale and fluffy. Reduce speed to low, and add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with cream mixture, beginning and ending with flour. Gently fold in blueberries using a rubber spatula.
5. Divide batter evenly among pans. Bake on a rimmed baking sheet until a toothpick inserted into the center of each comes out clean, about 30 minutes.
6. Transfer pans to wire racks, and brush tops of cakes with lemon syrup. Let stand for 15 minutes. Turn out cakes from pans, and brush all over with remaining syrup. Let cool completely on wire racks.  Variations: To make a large loaf instead of several little ones, use a 5-by-9-inch loaf pan, and bake for 55 minutes.

Heaven!  Today I went to the beach, besides the crazy holiday weekend crowds it was pretty nice.  Perfect weather.  There was a family next to me from the Middle East somewhere, complete with burka swimsuits.  I felt odd laying next to them, me in my itty bitty strapless bikini and them with their entire body (ankles included) and almost half their face covered.  The burkas were even made of swimsuit material.  Laying there in the sun I thought of as many positives to wearing a burka to the beach as possible.  Here are some of my thoughts: 1) Don't have to worry about unwanted/unsightly body hair 2) Don't have to worry about getting sunburnt 3) Don't have to worry about cellulite  4) Don't have to worry about those few extra pounds showing 5) Don't have to worry about tan lines.  Hmmmmm, maybe they have it all figured out....I was noticing how cute the kids in their family were but then I changed my mind after they spent 45 minutes throwing food in my direction (ie AT me) and laughing when the seagulls would come swooping down to eat it.  I felt like I was in a scene from The Birds.  They thought it was hilarious.  Bet they wouldn't have thought it was so funny if I threw chips back at them and the birds attacked...but that might teach them to bug other people who are just minding their own business....

Sad but true

So I had a friend visiting the last few days, we had a blast.  On Wednesday morning after getting bagels we found a wallet in the parking lot of the library.  We went through it looking for a contact number or something, and ended up finding a pencil-written phone number on the back of a business card, so we called it.  Turns out it was the owner of the wallet's son, we explained who and where we were and that we had this wallet.  The man was super-nice, thanking us over and over again and we arranged to drop it off at the library front desk where he could pick it up for his dad.  Apparently his dad was older and had some health problems.  He asked that we leave our names and addresses so they could thank us properly.  We went into the library and explained to the librarian what had happened and that we had contacted the owner of the wallet's son and he would be by to pick it up.  The librarian acted so surprised and kept thanking us as well, we told her we didn't need to leave any contact information, as long as the man got his wallet back.  When we left we were kind of in shock, isn't returning a wallet what any warm-blooded good-Samaritan would do?  The way people acted it was like we had saved a baby from a train or something.  I really didn't (and still don't) feel like I had done something that incredible, and I found it sad that doing something like that surprises people so much these days.  After I thought about it and the area and type of population that lives here, I figured that it might be pretty unusual, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was the right thing to do.  Pretty much it just made me realize I better NEVER lose my wallet - based on how those people acted, if I did, it was never coming back again.  Are good Samaritans really that few and far between?  I want to hear some more stories of goodness.

I need a new recipe...

A friend and I made muffins with the blueberries that we picked the other day.  It was so fun picking the blueberries, I felt like one of the boxcar children.  Unfortunately the muffins didn't turn out, they were a little bland and dry.  No idea why.  Bad recipe. 

PS - I have the best Halloween costume idea, EVER.