joke

Apparently this was one of the top 50 jokes of all time according to newslite.tv:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
ha ha ha ha ha

tired

So I just got home from a long 12-hour shift...it didn't help that I had been awake since 6pm the night before due to my wacky work/sleep schedule.  We were super busy today, like every Sunday and Monday.  My night ended with a child protective services referral that seemed to take for-ev-er, and I have never been happier to come home to a quiet, clean place as I was tonight.  Talking to my mom on my drive home I told her I didn't know how I would deal to coming home to a family when I was this tired and irritable and worn out.  She told me to appreciate all my quiet and alone time now because I might not always have it.  Good advice.  If I came home at this hour and had to cook dinner and help with homework and clean etc. etc. I think I would just burst into tears.  Thank goodness that stuff doesn't happen to one overnight.  I had a hot bath and now am going to sleep so hard I will probably wake up in 2013.  Buena noche.

Jane Austen Math

     Last night I watched Jane Austen's Mansfield Park.  It was 'meh'.  I know it has taken me awhile but I am catching on to her story formula, and it takes a little of the magic out of it when you can predict who is good and who is bad and who is going to do what.  Here is what I figure for her every story: brunette heroine (smart, not necessarily conventionally pretty, usually poor) + handsome cheating womanizer + good man the heroine meets in her childhood or very early in the story + a stupid sister + a very pretty sister + town gossips = Jane Austen story.  That about does it.  I am dying to see Persuasion but Netflix does not have any versions available instantly, if you can imagine that. 
     Tonight, what started out as cleaning up my spare room, still full of unopened boxes from the move, turned into a whole-place clean/furniture re-arranging.  My back is already sore.  I bought some daffodil and Iris buds at the store the other day, the have opened up beautifully and add so much color and prettiness I can hardly stand it.  Also at the store the other morning, (I went after work), I learned you cannot buy alcohol here between the hours of 2am and 8am.  Is that dumb or what?  Why?  I had just worked a 12-hour shift and wanted a margarita dammit, and it was 7:47.  If people are going to drink they are going to drink, regardless of what hours you can buy alcohol.  Not only did I want a margarita but I needed beer for my french dip recipe...good think the boyfriend had left a 6-pack in my fridge.  I was tired and not about to sit and wait for the time to go by. Stupid law. 

Finally productive

So I had the carrot soup and muffins made by 2am this morning, soup is so good, I am just storing it in a large pitcher in my fridge and then I pour it into a mug and heat it up when I want some.  Delish.  Finally went to the laundromat today...it had been since Christmas that any of my laundry was washed.  I did 5 loads of washing and drying in 90 minutes, not bad.

nocturnal...again

I am nocturnal...again.  Slept all day even though I wanted to be productive and now am up and awake and it's almost midnight.  I guess it is for the best right now though, I am "on call" for work and could get called in at any time, better to be awake and surprised than in a dead sleep and surprised.

The french dips turned out really well.  Surprise surprise I did not get the carrot soup made today but who knows, it might get made a 3am.  ; )

A real meal!

I am in the process of attempting to cook a meal right now.  French dips in the crock pot and sweet potato fries, with popsicles for dessert because I am approximately 7.  Ha ha.  Tomorrow I am going to attempt the magical carrot rosemary soup my mom made over Christmas.  I have been out of the cooking mood for so long, I am a little excited that my urge to prepare foods is returning...

When you live alone you forget how nice it is to eat with other people.  Even at work we are all sent to eat one at a time to stagger how many nurses are on the floor.  Anyways, last night I got to work a little bit early to eat my spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's (I splurged, soooo good) and one of the ER techs and one other ER docs were in the break room eating their dinners as well.  I had flashbacks to elementary school, all of us sitting at a big square table eating our lunches we made or bought, but it was so nice just to have some company to eat with.  There really is something to be said for family (work, social or biological) mealtimes.

the last night

Tonight is my last night until I am on call Thursday.  I am soooo tired.  In this stretch of nights I had a patient with the highest blood alcohol level I have ever seen.  To preface, .08 is the legal limit of alcohol to have in your bloodstream for operating a vehicle.  This individual came in at .475.  Literally, almost half of their blood was alcohol, and they were almost 6 times over the limit.  I am not sure how they were still alive.  Ca-razy!

Ug

Tonight will be night 3 of 4 here....it sounds better when you put it that way, it wasn't until a minute ago I realized that another way of saying that is "half-way".  Ug.  These last few nights have been so weird, dragging on but busy and just weird patients.  Bleh. At least the doc working is awesome.

Times when you really wish you were alone #1

Last night I took my leftover steak from the night before to work for dinner.  I re-heated it in the microwave, then tried to cut it with a fork and butter knife but apparently the day in the fridge/microwaving it made it super tough.  I actually bent my fork trying to cut it.  There was a registration lady in the break room at the same time, watching tv, and I was super bummed I was not alone because all I wanted to do was spear that entire hunk of meat on my fork and then just gnaw on it like a giant beef drumstick or something.  No such luck due to the unfamiliar witness.  Dinner time last night was a time I really wish I had been alone. 

stir crazy

I had forgotten how stir crazy one gets in wintertime in these areas...short days, long nights, bad weather...I have a touch of cabin fever and that bachelorette party in April is not looking like it will be here fast enough.  Last night I went out to dinner and then had drinks with some friends...it was only after dinner part-way through the drinks I realized my shirt was on backwards.  I am so special.  Back to work tonight for four more in a row...maybe there will be something exciting/interesting....

Mr. Rochester...and homeless people

I love Jane Eyre.  Last night I watched the newest version with my mom, the one with Michael Fassbender as Mr. Edward Fairfax Rochester.  I fell in love with him in Centurion so seeing him play one of my all-time favorite male-leads in one of my all-time favorite movies was a treat. 

Tomorrow it is back to the circus, with these below-zero temperatures out the homeless claiming to be psychotic/homicidal/suicidal are flocking to the ER in great numbers...if they get admitted it is a warm bed, shower, food and clothes that they don't have to pay for.  I bet the ER is getting over 15 psych eval patients a day...makes it hard to discern who really needs help and who needs a kick in the pants over to the homeless shelter.

More and more I find myself referring back to my ER Nurse's Prayer ; ) 

Can't Sleep

I can't sleep.  That is why I have a Hornsby's and saltines at my bedside and am watching Mad Men at this ridiculous hour.  I might have just fallen in love with some Don Draper, and the fact that they played a song from My Fair Lady at the end of the first episode.  Now I need to decide whether I should start another episode or try for some more sleep...oh to have a regular schedule.

Salad for idiots

Tonight when I got home from work I made a salad and while eating it I looked at the bag.  Apparently now on the Dole bags of lettuce there is a lettuce-taste scale and also a "Pairs well with:" section.  My leafy Romaine pairs well with "shallots, carrots and radishes".  No way!  Carrots and radishes in a salad??  Who would have guessed that?  Then it got me thinking...wouldn't it be sweet if humans came with their own "pairs well with" section? Yes, yes it would.  If we came packaged with directions think how much time and energy that would save?  It would save like 30 years.  If you met a new person you could read their "pairs well with" section and decide if you wanted to be friends.  If you met a new potential significant other you could read their "pairs well with" section and decide as well.  This guy pairs well with blondes who play World of Warcraft?  Not for me.  Sooooo much time would be saved!  On the down side, half of the fun in life is discovering what you pair well with.  It might be kind of a let-down if at age 8 you already knew that you paired well with sarcastic people, cats, v-neck t-shirts, burgundy lipstick and guys who drive white pick-up trucks.  What would be the point of trying anything new if you already knew what worked?  I am 25, (almost 26) so I think I have some idea what my own label would say.  This is the best I could come up with: La...pairs well with sunshine, horses and dogs, well-mannered people, Firefly vodka and lemonade, Harry Potter, black patent stilettos, borderline-metro guys and cotton candy.  Maybe I should make myself a shirt....

The crazy girl next door

     I am sure my neighbors think I am crazy - coming and going at all hours of the night and day (for work), the police are always over (the boyfriend), and more than once I have been seen running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I have locked myself out.  Once I was even seen removing the screen from my rear window and crawling in.  Well today I just added fuel to the weird-neighbor fire I am sure.  When a bundled up neighbor went by in the frigid 9 degrees walking her dog, I was in my garage with the door open, standing directly on top of my car in my furry boots and parka. 
     Why?  Well I noticed lately that when I was getting home from work at midnight, 2am, 7am, etc. when I opened my garage door the light wasn't coming on.  It was miserable trying to fumble for keys in the freezing cold, pitch black after I turned my car off and was standing at my door.  At first I didn't know if it was something I just hadn't noticed before, but then decided it was a new change.  So today when I got up around 4pm I decided to check it out.  It snowed last night, finally, and it was freezing, but my car only had minimal snow on it from the drive home this am.  I spider crawled up the trunk and back window to the top in my leggings and parka and furry Uggs then proceeded to crawl around and then stand up on the roof to figure out what the problem with the light was.  That was when one of the neighbors walked by.  I didn't have a ladder, what was I supposed to do? 
     Turns out the light bulb was burnt out.  Good thing I have small hands, that is the worst design plan ever, the motor and chain for the garage door are directly over the light so I had to reach around them and figure out how to unscrew the light bulb and get it out of its little container.  Phew.  Before I went up I texted my friend "Am crawling on car in garage 2 look @ garage door opener...if no text from me in 30min it means I fell and froze. Please come collect my body".  I bought a new lightbulb at the store tonight, so tomorrow or sometime in the next few days I will need to crawl back up there and re-install it.  Awesome.

Well that was a little bit of a rodeo!

Today myself and a male flight nurse had to hold an altered mental status, thrashing, angry, uncooperative patient in the side-lying position in order for the doctor to do a lumbar puncture.  It wore me out.  "Don't let him roll over or it will break the needle off in his back" the doc told us. Ummmmmm, ok.  Afterwards the doc said "Well that was a little bit of a rodeo!".  Yes, yes it was.  And you were not even the one laying on the patient while he swatted at everything he could reach. 

Death is a funny thing

Death is an odd creature.  I was begging for him to come visit one of my patients all night but he took his good sweet time and was still MIA when I left.  By saying I waited "all night" I mean an hour and a half, when you are waiting for him every minute seems like an eternity.  Where was he?  He seems to come so often in my line of work at the most inconvenient times for the most undeserving people, it would be nice if he would show up when we need him every once in awhile.  Especially for the terminally ill, six-thousand year old people who are brain dead and appear to breathe once every 10 minutes or so.  I have never been so relieved to give my report to another nurse and leave that room where the heart-rate monitor seemed to have me hypnotized.  Death, where were you buddy?

Positives

My day was busy and there were lots of patients.  That is all I can think of right now.  Here is a list of the positives for today:

...
...
my iced carmel macchiato from Starbuck's was delicious

none of my patients died - from natural causes or from me

I saved money by bringing my own lunch and not eating from the cafeteria

...

that's all I got.  Overall it was a busy yet uneventful day...kind of weird patients, kind of a weird mood overall.  I hope tomorrow is better.

Hi ho, hi ho

I am getting ready to leave for work here in a few...wish me patience and good decision-making skills for today and all days following.

Also, is there really any better way to get to know someone besides hanging out with their friends?  Just who their friends are tells you a lot about them, not to mention all the information the friends additionally supply.  Every time I hang out with my significant and his friends lately I feel like I learn so much about him that I might not otherwise know, and so far I am really liking what I have learned, thank goodness ; )

I got a feelin'...

One of my new year's "plans" was to eat out less and prepare more of my own food.  Today I am making good on that and preparing food for the work week ahead.  I blanched snow peas to eat with jasmine rice and Sri Racha sauce, made some Parmesan couscous, and am George Foreman-ing red peppers and Portabella mushrooms tossed in olive oil and garlic to mix into that.  I am pretty proud of myself.
  Yesterday I had lunch with a friend, had my hair cut and colored, had a waxing appointment, and then later drove to a little nearby town and had a delicious Mexican dinner with some friends and met some new ones.  A friend's family owns a micro-brewery there, so he gave us the grand tour after dinner, along with samples of the grain and the hops (eeeew).  I still hate beer, but it was kinda cool.  Today I am having lunch with a friend from high school (see what I mean about eating out??) and plan on vegging out this afternoon.  Tomorrow starts the most ridiculous work schedule I have ever seen...something like Jan. 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 19 I have a computer class, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26...working day and night shifts.  I kind of want to commit Hara Kiri, aka Harry Carry just thinking about it, and no, I did not schedule myself like that.

I went with dark and red!

I am in love with my hair.  Something I learned the other night during my night out with the police force - smoking pot turns your tongue green.  Who knew?  Not me.  It is getting cold here, hopefully we will get some snow out of it, I need to get back on the slopes.  The wind is blowing and I have a 6-pack of Hornsby's in the the fridge.  All I need is some pizza.  I kind of feel like staying in the rest of the night....

wishy washy

I can't decide what to do with my hair...color.  Initially before Christmas I went in to get that cool new ombre hair color, dark fading to light, but the colorist and I had completely different ideas of "ombre".  Basically I just got a few highlights starting halfway down my head.  I plucked up my courage and went back to the same place with a picture of more what I had in mind, but alas, it still didn't turn out remotely like what I had in mind...just brown with streaky blonde.  I learned a good lesson through this, if unsure of your hair stylist's capabilities, don't expect to look like a movie star especially if the color or cut or style or whatever looks tricky.  Ombre is all about the blending and obviously blending was not a strong point of hers.  I am trying a new place tomorrow.  Now I have dark hair with light highlights and need to decide if I want to go light all over (expensive upkeep, looks really nice, hard on my hair), back to dark brown (more natural, easy upkeep, boring) or try something new all together, like dark dark brown/black or red.  Decisions decisions.  Tomorrow my appointment is at noon, and I am betting I will still be making my mind up as I walk in the door.  Keep your fingers crossed it is not a disaster!  PS - here is a picture of ombre hair done correctly:

                                             http://mystylebell.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/drew-ombre2.jpg

So, for those of you that do not know, I am dating a policeman.  Last night, after months of asking, I finally agreed to go on a "ride along" with him.  Apparently any member of the public can ride with the police during their nightly (or daily) rounds.  Who knew? 
     Anyways, I gave in and went with him last night.  Initially I insisted that he provide me with a bullet-proof vest, helmet and goggles, but after actually trying those things on prior to last night I realized it might have been overkill.  That vest is heavy and I had no peripheral vision, or really any vision at all in his riot helmet.  Instead I wore my yoga pants, three shirts and a down coat because it was COLD.  I totally looked legit.     
     The night started with a briefing, and then we headed to his beat, which I learned last Fall is police-term for "route".  His car was nice with the computer setup and everything, but at some points I couldn't help but think that maybe it's the cops we should be looking out for on the road as he zoomed along while typing with both hands on the computer.  I got to watch him pull someone over for speeding (he only gave them a warning), and go to a call at a bar where a drunk man fell off a bar stool.  I am serious about that last one.  Now I know the process of what happens after a drunk falls over...the bar or a bystander call the police, the police and ambulance show up, load up the person, and then he (or she) is brought the the ER where I take care of them until they sober up.  After that it was pretty dead.  We had dinner with a few of the other policemen at Denny's around 1am, then drove around some more.  Just as I was wearing out and he was headed in the direction of my place to drop me off he got a call for a hit and run that lasted fooooorrrrrrreeeeeevvvvvvvveeeeerrrrrrr.  He had to find the vehicle that was hit, find the vehicle that hit it, find the owners (or their family members when that wasn't happening), take pictures, write a report, call the tow-company and talk to dispatch all while diffusing the tension between the people who's cars were involved. I sat in the car because it was too cold outside for me and entertained myself by singing until I almost fell asleep.  He was finally able to drop me off around 6 this am. 
     Overall it was interesting to see what he does all night, and was good to spend some time with him...bonus I got to see him in his uniform for 8 hours ; )  I'm glad we have police men and women.

Easy Sunday

I am loving this song right now, word on the street is it has been in the 70's there, and I miss that!  This reminds me of my last few years...click here.

Dementoids

"How is work" my mom asked tonight when I called her during my lunch break.  "The patients are soul-sucking" I replied.  "Oh, like dementors" she said.  Exactly.  Today it was the little things that wore me out, nothing seemed to be simple.  Little things, like paging physical therapy to do teaching with a patient turned into a huge ordeal...I couldn't find the right phone number, the operator transferred my call to a satellite clinic 5 miles away, when I finally did get ahold of a physical therapist they did not agree with the physician's orders, the family of the pt had to be called, the physician had to change his orders, a walker was ordered, medical supply company had to be called, there was a problem with the insurance, etc.etc. All this while another patient had a blood clot and needed education and teaching on how to subcutaneously inject blood thinners at home, while the patient in room 5 continually yelled out for 7up, while the 3 year-old needed an IV and antibiotics, while the ultrasound machine was broken, while lab needed a red gel tube drawn while my other patient was ready to have a blood transfusion and the ambulance was bringing someone else in on a stretcher.  None of them had life-threatening conditions, but all needed a million little things.  And that was just the first hour...I know I am very lucky to have a job and shouldn't complain, but damn, I am worn out!

There is no where else I would rather be right now than where I am, in my comfy bed with my warm bed buddy on my feet and sleep imminent.  For the next few days the dementoids can be someone else's problem. 

Life Soundtracks

I am writing now, at 3:13am, cause I know when I get up in the morning and go to work from 2p-2a I will not have a chance, even if I do remember.

I am big on soundtracks.  Not just movie soundtracks, but life soundtracks.  The other day it occurred to me that I really needed to make a "skiing mix" for my mp3, and in the back of my mind I have been thinking of songs to put on it.  That reminded me that when I was in the South, my big thing was my "beach mix" and my "Workout mix".  I love mixes.  I love finding perfect songs and saving them and labeling them and dating them, and then finding them years later. Then you listen to a song and know which song is next, and it takes you back to the exact moment you were in when you last listened to it.  Music is deceivingly powerful like that.  I started burning CDs in 2001, and love looking back to see what songs I liked and what the purpose of the CD was.  I had a CD that I listened to while mopping floors at work during summers in high school.  I have a CD made of songs that my college boyfriend and I made together, complete with "our" song on there twice, Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight.  There was a CD I made to listen to while driving to and from clinicals in nursing school.  Whenever I hear Jay-Z's Forever Young I think of my drive to work in the South, complete with Magnolia Blossoms and Maryland Fried Chicken in the air.  The Nelly Furtado CD that played on repeat in the massive bathroom in my sorority in college will always remind me of that time.  Five for Fighting and Guster take me back to high school.  Third Eye Blind takes me back to junior high, and TLC's Waterfalls takes me back to third grade.  I am a sucker for songs and what they can mean to a person.  Delta Goodrem reminds me of my crazy bus ride through the Honduran mountains in 2008.  As far as I am concerned music is another form of memory.  Someday I want to put these all together and make a timeline of my life in music.  All these memories remind me of who I am and what I have been through, and I can't wait to see what mixes are to come.

On the move...soon!

I bought my tickets today for a friend's bachelorette party in Las Vegas in April.  Tickets are a lot cheaper to Vegas from Montana than from where I was!  I am so excited to be going somewhere, I don't even mind that I have to fly home via Seattle ; )  We are staying at the new hotel called The Cosmopolitan, it looks amazing http://www.cosmopolitanlasvegas.com. Once I get some money saved up and figure out how to do all the time-off requests at work I cannot wait to start traveling again.  I want to make it back to NYC before too long and Alaska again, not to mention all the places I haven't been!  There are so many places...traveling is wonderful for so many reasons, you learn about other people and cultures, get to try new foods, you learn about yourself, and when you come home you appreciate your own stuff and your own bed that much more.  I can't wait to be on the move again : ) 

First-timer

Yesterday I went to Cabela's.  For the first time. Ever.  If the world ever decides to end or there is a zombie take-over, that is the first place I will head to stock up on supplies.  Not only do they have food, clothing, weapons, ammo and shelter, but there are also very life-like animals mounted around the store, every 10 feet or so, including skunks and porcupines (I was glad to see them incorporate the non-trophy creatures in there as well).  There is a restaurant in there, AND a fish tank.  A friend asked if I wanted to go with him, and being bored I said yes.  He needed to pick out a new scope for his new gun.  I was a huge help seeing as how I have an extensive background in munitions.  Ha.  While he was stocking up on ammo, exploding targets, etc. etc.  I did find the cutest little pink North Face baby booties. Then I spent the rest of the time looking through magazines of beautiful log showcase homes, and found what I would like to have when I am a real home-owning adult, something like what is pictured below, preferably ski-in and ski-out access.  Overall not a bad afternoon. 

http://www.timberhomeliving.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/PrecisionCraft-Log-Timber-Homes-main.jpg

2 points to the opposing team

There is nothing I like more after a hectic night at work than driving home in complete silence. 

I enjoy a good prank at work, and the other night one of the doctors and a few of the nurses got me good, I just found out the real story tonight.  This is what happened.  We got a new Keurig machine in the lounge, and I found these packets to put in that make the best hot chocolate.  I made some for myself and took it out to the nurse's station and was going on and on about how good it was and how much I was enjoying it (it is the little things that get you through the last few hours of work ; )  Anyways, about 3/4 through my hot chocolate I got up to go into a patient's room.  I did something for about 5 minutes and then came back out and sat down and took a drink of my hot chocolate, but it tasted different.  "Ewwww!" I announced.  "My drink changed!".  Everyone at the desk just looked at me like I was crazy.  "I am serious!"  I said.  "I went in the room and it was hot chocolate and then came back out like 2 minutes later and it's coffee now!".  Then I started asking everyone if they had mixed up their drink with mine. "You are crazy." the charge nurse announced.  "I think you need a psych workup".   Then she called the doctor on staff over and made me repeat my story.  I was completely serious telling him something happened to my drink and I swore it was hot chocolate before but now it was coffee.  They all laughed and shook their heads.    I thought people were laughing because of how ridiculous I sounded and I went on for another 10 minutes or so trying to convince them my drink changed from chocolate to coffee in a matter of minutes. I am going crazy!  I remember thinking.  No one would make eye contact with me. I thought it was so bizarre and just ended up figuring that after awhile the Keurig hot chocolate just went bad or something if you didn't drink it fast enough.  Tonight when night shift came on they were all laughing and told me that the doctor that was on that night had been trying to get me back for my numerous pranks on him, so he and the charge nurse dumped out my hot chocolate while I was in the patient's room and filled it with coffee.  I knew I wasn't losing my mind!  Two points for them, now I will have to think of something good to get them back ; ).

I fell off the boat, but I'm back!

I fell off the blog-boat last Fall, I blame it on the wedding (Banana's), the move, and the new job.  I am now back, and intent on writing daily again.  

The beginning of 2011 was a rough night in the ER, I got the call from home that my grandma had died then literally had to run out and perform open cardiac massage (as opposed to closed cardiac massage???).  This year at the turn of the clock I was checking a temperature...rectally.  So maybe I would have rather been out in some fabulous heels and a sparkly outfit but I got to go home for Christmas this year so I am still considering myself lucky. 

Here are my most important updates RIGHT NOW, and by you all I mean mom:

A) I still want a hedgehog.

B) I ate some green bean casserole tonight not knowing there was cheese in it and now my stomach hurts. 

That is all.  It is 3:20am and I just finished working 12-hours in the ER changing entirely too many diapers on adults and discharging angry people because they did not receive adequate amounts of narcotic pain medicine during their visit.