Sunday, May 15, 2011

My ER Nurse Prayer

So, being inspired by Tina Fey's prayer from yesterday, I am going to write a nursing one of my own.  Here goes:


As I drive to work at night, oh Lord of all things Emergency, I pray to you:

I pray that the ER is busy but not too busy 

I pray that the doctor's handwriting is legible
May the drunks be friendly, and the baby mamas be willing to learn...and buy thermometers for home use
May patients urinate only in designated areas, and no where else

May it slow down a few times, and may there be chinchillas in wine glasses and talking dogs and babies laughing on the internet a plenty for us to enjoy

May the cafeteria food be edible, and the ketchup and ice dispensers full

May the psych patients be non-threatening, and may there be no vomiting nor diarrhea...at least in my rooms

May the policemen and state troopers be handsome, and the respiratory therapists knowledgeable regarding the use of an ambu-bag

Please let it not be a full moon, or that certain time of the month when all nurses are on their period because we all have the same cycle from working together so often

May the babies be healthy, the DNR's signed, ready and rampant, and the phlebotomists punctual

May the bodily fluid spills be contained, the patients English-speaking, and may every EMS patient come in with a working IV

May the ginger-ale and graham crackers runneth over, as well as the plastic silverwear and the styrofoam cups

May you give me patience when I ask someone what sort of animal bit them, and they reply, "my cousin".

Oh ER Gods, I pray for all of the above, but if you could even just manage one tonight, I would be grateful. Thank you.
Amen.

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