Quote o' the night

Quote from the doctor, regarding a patient I had that sat in his room and cried for 2 hours because his neck hurt:

"Give him ten of morphine and a sling for his vagina."

I love the Western mentality.

What's new...

I am an independent nurse here now, off of orientation.  Last night was my first night "on my own" and it went well, besides the fact that I am still not sure if I transmitted scabies from four of my patients.  Gross.  I have been working in the pod where all the psych patients go and am getting slightly tired of suicidal 15 year-olds and alcoholic 50 year-olds. 

The other night I accidentally watched part of a really bad horror movie that scared me.  How does one do this accidentally you ask?  Well it was one of the few cases I have seen where Netflix gets the synopsis very wrong.  I kept pausing the movie and re-reading what it was about, and finally turned it off when the main character had a gigolo in saran wrap and was going to cut his heart out.  So bad.  I turned on a children's movie about rainbows and slept with all the lights on. 

I made the mistake of getting my flu shot this morning after work and came home and went to sleep instead of using my arm like is recommended and now that arm is sore and dead-ish.

Finally, I am doing a Star Wars themed pumpkin this year - either Darth Vader or Yoda. 

Loco

The other day a man came in that had been attacked with a meat tenderizer...it took 3 docs 6 hours to sew him up.  Also, on my last night there last week a patient attacked the doctor.  A female patient and female doctor of course.  People are crazy everywhere.

Odd

Apparently last night I had a transsexual patient and when she checked out her insurance said she was a male.  The registration people were confused so they decided to ask me, her nurse, if she was a male or female after she left.  Seeing as how about half of the women I have been treating in the last year have had beards, I obviously had no clue as to the patient's real gender, I just assumed it was a female because of the name and appearance.  I felt slightly stupid not being able to answer what sex my patient was, after I had not even caught on that there might be something odd about the situation, but then I thought about it for a minute.  The patient came in for a non-reproductive organ issue so really, whatever gender that person identifies with, if it is not related to the complaint of the person it is really not my business.  Everyone else said "I thought there was something odd about that person" but I had no clue.  My friend and I play a male-or-female guessing game sometimes with pictures we find on the internet and I am pretty good at that but I guess this goes to show if it is in real life and I am not thinking about it, I am below average in that skill section.

Tangled

I watched Tangled last night, the Disney movie.  For some reason during the scene when Rapunzel is in the boat watching all the lanterns floating by I started crying.  Needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Today I went to the mall to look for parts to my proposed Halloween costume.  There were a few guys at a hair kiosk selling some kind of hair styling tool, and I am such a pushover, when they started talking to my about my hair before I knew it I was sitting down in their chair and they were both madly curling and brushing my hair.  It actually was looking cute, so I made small talk and asked them questions until they had curled all my hair.  Ha.  Now I didn't have to do anything to it before work.  Also, I just discovered that the mall here has a Sephora, and I am kind of pumped.

I had a first!

So at work last night, even though it was pretty slow (I can say the jinx word after the fact), I had a "first".  I had to administer an enema.  Holy cow.  Thoughts of returning to my old hospital in the South ran through my mind as soon as the doctor told me that is what he wanted...and I realized that I was going to have to be the one doing it.  Somehow in 2 years I had managed to never do one, seeing as how they were mostly (always, in my case) delegated to the techs or nursing assistants.  Apparently that is not the case here.  My preceptor helped me, bless her heart, and was able to re-focus me when I started dry-heaving so badly my mascara was running down my face.  Of course as soon as we finished that, the charge nurse came along and told us we could take our lunch break (midnight is lunch-time).  Right.  Like I am ever going to be hungry again.

This morning after work for the second time I joined my co-workers at Beer and Breakfast.  Because I live in such a classy place, the casino/restaurants that serve breakfast and alcohol open at 8am, so we are able to have breakfast with adult beverages after work.  I kind of love it.  This morning we brought a deck of cards and four of us played Egyptian Rat Kill for two and a half hours.  Trust me, at that point everything is hilarious. 

I fell off the blog wagon

I fell off the blog wagon and for that I apologize. 

The other day at work a patient came in because she found a dead mouse floating in her jug of root beer, after she had drank part of it.  So gross.  She brought in the jug and the poor dead mouse was floating around, matted fur, little beady eyes, pink tail...funny but so nasty. 

I got out my map to hang up the other day and realized again how many places I want to travel to.  If only I could aparate...apparate? I am not quite sure how to spell that. 

I bought some Freesia yesterday at the store...they really do smell heavenly.