Hot with Cold

I have been sitting here for 5 minutes and cannot think of anything to write.  Work was work.  The Fall weather is gorgeous and chilly in the mornings.  I am so relieved to have 2 nights off before going back to work.  I think next week I am going to make mass batches of marinara sauce and Sante Fe Soup and then freeze them so I have a warm, delicious meal in the freezer for the upcoming cold nights ahead, at work and at home.  I don't know why hot food is so amazing when it is freezing out but it sure beats a sandwich on a snowy night...

brain scrambled

I have one more night left and then am finished with my stretch of 4 and have a few nights off.  When work ends in the morning it is the same feeling I had when school would get out in the afternoon when I was little: pure joy and excitement and all the possibilities!

  I helped save a life last night.  It was a real emergency and time was key and without our interventions the patient most likely would have died.  I keep telling myself that and trying to figure out how I feel about it.  Interestingly I do not feel any different about that patient than any of my other patients throughout the night, and this is not the first time  have helped save a life.  I guess everything is relative. I am not saying that in a jaded way, but more like a humble brag kind of way I think...I don't know.  I guess I am pretty lucky (or crazy) to have an occupation where after you save a life you wipe the bed down and go on to the next room and empty a bed pan, and continue on because that is just what you do and people usually don't thank you and you don't really expect it or any acknowledgement for that matter. Does it not seem like a big deal because it was a stranger?  Because it happens frequently?  I am still wrapping my head around it.  My thoughts on death and dying and natural selection and psychology vs. sociology and over-population vs. personal attachment are getting more complicated by the day.  I have two food for thought pieces that came to mind...

and the second is this saying that is still boggling my brains...

Good thing I am going to sleep and will let my brain work on it while I am out : )

Always something good

Last night was pretty uneventful, here are the high points:

My conversation with a 5 year-old:
Kid: "I have an ipad, a Wii and an iphone"
Me (all kinds of jealous): "Who do you call on your iphone?"
Kid: "Well, no one really.  It doesn't work"
Me: "Oh man, so it's on the fritz?"
Kid: "Actually yeah, I do keep it on the fridge"

The few moments of elation when I smelled something burning and thought we could all go home if the hospital caught on fire...

My delicious leftover dinner made for me by my roommate: pork tenderloin, potatoes and green beans...

I finished my book Children of God in the wee morning hours of triage between geriatric and transient patients...

That about does it :)

Limitless?

     I started working out before work instead of after work.  My boyfriend convinced me I would have more energy during the night if I did, and I have been so tired after work I have been skipping workouts.  I am going to give it a try, I am all about going straight to bed after work, guilt-free especially.  I got up at 3:45pm yesterday to go work out, I worked out, then got ready for work and by 6:30pm as I was driving to work, this was the conversation we had:
Me: "You made me think I was going to feel like the guy in Limitless at work after working out, I am already tired...and sore"
Boyfriend: "Just wait"
Me: "How long?  I might wreck while I am en route tonight"
Boyfriend: "Give it a few weeks"
Me: "Whaaaaaaat?!"

So that is a work in progress...

     I bought a heating blanket at Costco the other day.  It is now one of my most prized possessions.  After coming home from work I used to bundle up in layers and socks, then heat my bed buddy (rice pack) up in the microwave and proceed to attempt to use its 3inx15in dimensions to touch as much of my body as possible to get the maximum amount of heat from it.  In about 45min I would get up again and reheat it, and then fall asleep over the next 20 min, gradually achieving enough warmth to stop shivering.  Now I can turn on my heating blanket when I get home and it is like pre-heating my bed!  If there were a fire, my heating blanket would be in the top 5 things I would save.

vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaation

Oh man!  I am on vacation!  I even got off work early this morning!  Wahoo!!  I am not going to see, think, hear or in any way be associated with the ER while I am away from that place, no checking emails, nothing.  Well, I might see if the new schedule is posted and make sure they didn't schedule me for 6 out of 7 like they asked me to work.  I am getting really good at saying "no".  Seriously, people frequently come up to me and say, "I wish I could just say 'no' like you!"!  Yay for freedom from adult diapers, drug addicts, fluorescent lighting, homeless smelling people, bed shortages, homicidal and suicidal people, puke, pee, blood, charting, having to hold your pee in for hours at a time, naked cussing people, stupid people and dirty people.

The other day my sister rode on a train.  I made her send me a picture of what would be platform 9 3/4.  She was not impressed.  "You do know I am in Kansas, right?" she said.  I don't think it matter where you are, if you are riding a train, find that platform.

I forgot to tell Banana, we have been playing an epic game of phone tag, but I think she and her husband should get a Jeep Compass, a gold one, and then they can tell people they have a Golden Compass, like the book.  I am so full of good ideas.  If you have not read The Golden Compass, run, don't walk, run to the nearest bookstore and buy it and read it and then read The Subtle Knife and then The Amber Spyglass.  You will not be sorry.  I mean, it is up there with A Wrinkle in Time good!

Work has been rough.  I scheduled a massage this morning for next week and it made me feel better though :)

I don't know why it is so intimidating to sit down and write again...but it is.  I will start simple: still nursing, still flabbergasted by people, still working nights in the ER, increasingly jaded, the 9-5 plastic surgeon assistant job looking more and more enticing.  Just wait until you hear about the lawsuit I caused the hospital when I asked a "disabled" person that brought a dog into triage with no obvious "disability" what in the world a dog was doing in the hospital.  Big no-no.  Unfortunately I am more inclined to be disheartened by patients now that the initial newness and humor has decreased of working in the ER but I am still looking for the goodness and seeking the funny. 

Last night at work a co-worker informed me that a patient from the hospital we work at had stolen a wheelchair from us, (our hospital name and department stencil spray painted all over it of course) and had tried to sell it on craigslist.  I think hospital security saw the ad somehow and called the police and when the police showed up to repossess the wheelchair the woman said that she didn't know that what she had done was illegal.  Really? 

I have been pretty good about exercising after work but last night I forgot my gym clothes so I didn't make it this morning.  Also, when work is absolutely balls to the wall chaotic, I mostly just want to come straight home and sit in my bedroom and drink alcohol.  Lovely that the age:alcohol tolerance/hangover set-in time is inversely related, I swear I get a headache now after 1.5 drinks, I used to be a champ (sigh).  Just kidding.  It is very apparent my party days are over and I am more than ok with that.  Oh the joys of getting older, but like my dad says, it beats the alternative.

It is still the little things, I am finding, that make work bearable.  Here are some examples: free cookie night at Subway (Thursdays), getting to work with a pod-mate nurse who also happens to be a friend, finding out 2 IV drug infusions are compatible, and the cafeteria having fresh lemons to put in my water.  Two of those revolve around food...hmmmm.  More to come...